


an alien feeling

by dinopire



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: An alien who speaks like a chav, Crack, M/M, kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:45:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8037379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinopire/pseuds/dinopire
Summary: tom was a charming young man. richard agreed wholeheartedly.





	an alien feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sonarous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonarous/gifts).



> this is 4 jaleesa . who brought up space and made this rly amazing art.

* * *

 

“So, do you come here often?” Tom leaned against the counter, looking at the alien with half-lidded eyes. The alien scratched its head.

“You wot mate?” It asked, looking around. “I’m not gay.”

“One night with me can change that.” Tom didn’t skip a beat, a charming smile lighting up his face.

“....I’m gonna have fag break, innit? Meet me at the back.” The alien laid its green hand on the counter, three fingers spanning the length of the entire surface.

“I want you to probe me, I want you to probe me  _ real _ good.” Once they were in the back alley of the building Tom rested his hand on the alien’s chest, whispering in its ear. The alien’s mouth went dry and it couldn’t help let out an alien noise, a chill running down its spine.

“Y-you wot, mate?” The alien swallowed heavily, a deep blue flush spreading across its cheeks.

“I’ll suck you off for twenty quid.” Tom brushed his hair out of his eyes, pulling back momentarily.

“I’ll give ya forty!!” The alien blurted, blood all rushing downwards to its nether regions at those words. It was a huge chunk of its paycheck but it didn’t have the capacity for higher thought.

“You’ll be broke and you’ll  _ love _ every second of it.” Tom’s voice was almost a purr, the promise of money lighting up his dark gaze, bringing heat to his expression.

“Ohh, me mam’s gonna bite ma feckin ‘ead off when she finds out I’m a queer.”

“I don’t have a gag reflex.” Tom continued without batting an eyelash.

“Bloody ‘ell.” The alien closed its eyes and sent up a silent plea for forgiveness. It felt a hand sliding across its ribs and assumed that its apron was about to be untied. It could feel its heart rate increasing, a steady thump-thump-thump that quickly sped up. 

It was completely surprised to feel a sharp pain in its side, instead of the sensation of a warm hand.

“W-wot you doin mate?!” The alien flinched back, head colliding with the brick wall behind it.

“You didn’t think I was actually going to suck you off for twenty pounds?” Tom sneered.

The alien looked down and saw that Tom had stabbed it in the side with a syringe.

“Yerr a fookin wanker…” The alien was SHOOK!

“Did you think I was going to let the opportunity to capture an alien pass me by?”

“Brud….. I thought we had something special.” The alien could feel tears coming to its eyes, it was mcfreakin sad.

“I don’t associate with  _ your _ type unless I’m selling you.” Tom flicked his annoyingly perfectly styled hair out of his eyes, like the asshole he is.

“What about us… what about everything we’ve been through…” The alien couldn’t help but quote the high school musical movie it watched last night. It could feel whatever drug it had been injected with beginning to take effect. Its limbs were beginning to feel heavier, a wave of exhaustion washing over it.

“Sorry, suddenly I can’t hear.” Tom stepped back as the alien’s legs failed it and it slid to the dirty ground.

“Ye fookin white skins, all the same, the lot of ya!” The green alien shook its fist, even as it was losing consciousness.

“Have fun being probed.” Here Tom smiled, cruelly.

“No… not again.” The alien pleaded, before finally passing out.

For good measure Tom dug around in its apron, stealing its wallet. He opened it, cringing when he saw at least five condoms shoved into the tiny space.

“These aliens… they come to OUR planet, thinking they can fuck anyone they want.” Tom muttered, discarding the wallet after seeing its contents were entirely useless to him.

Another alien captured, one of many.

  
**THE FOOKIN END.**


End file.
